Beginnings, Endings, and Transformations

The Center for Christogenesis website tells us that Christophany Groups are building a world ready for the future! This statement implies vision and change. In Facilitating for Growth Barbara Fleischer points out that although change can be stressful, it lies at the center of conversion and growth. Transitions can be pivotal moments for any group and often require a willingness to work through the feelings, implications, and issues that are evoked. Fleischer informs us that the way a group manages periods of change will determine whether it emerges stronger and more cohesive or becomes divided and weakened. Successfully navigating change in our small groups can provide the skills for navigating change in the larger world as we confront an uncertain future.

In addressing change, Fleischer looks at some of the issues that occur when a new member joins the group, a member leaves the group, the group experience comes to an end, or the group’s original purpose expands or changes.

Including a New Member

While group members will tend to test the waters to find the limits of acceptable behaviors and expressions, trust gradually develops when they feel that they are received and accepted with respect and confidentiality. In healthy groups, new members eventually feel safe enough to open themselves to deeper levels of sharing, which strengthens the bonds of the community and creates a new personality for the group. Thus, it seems that groups need to be ready and open to becoming something new.

Ideally, decisions regarding accepting new members should be made by the group itself; thus, you may want to check in with your group regarding whether to accept new members and how large they wish the group to be. The role of the facilitator is to review the purpose of the group, its norms and expectations, and general procedures. All group members should introduce themselves at the new member’s first meeting and, if time allows, speak about what the group has meant to them. Well established groups might also wish to tell the story of the group — its high and low points, struggles, and insights. 

Losing a Member

Losing a member also changes the personality of a group. Sometimes this results in feelings of loss and grief for the person leaving as well as for the members. Fleischer advises that if a member has been a vital and accepted member of the group, unresolved matters will differ from those involving a member who has been in constant conflict with the group. Regardless of the situation, it is important to provide emotional space and a chance for healing. Both the member and the group can benefit from recognizing their emotions and addressing the issues affecting them as best as they can.

The facilitator’s primary role is to help members become aware of and express their emotions honestly. When the facilitator learns of a member’s plans to leave the group, they should encourage the member to inform the entire group, if they have not done so already. During the session, the facilitator should prompt members to speak directly to the departing person, sharing any feelings of care or loss. If there has been conflict, old disputes may not be easily resolved, but members can honestly acknowledge what the conflict has meant to them and recognize any strengths they can at this time. The facilitator might also ask the departing member to share what the group has meant to them and what they have valued most. Departures can significantly impact the group, much like other major life changes. While time may be the main healer for the grief and emotions that arise, using rituals or prayers to signify the group’s experience can help both the departing member and the group move forward. Prayers or rituals are especially important if a group member passes away.

Ending a Group

The challenges of separation are greatly intensified when the entire group’s journey comes to an end. Once again, the facilitator’s primary role is to help and encourage members to openly express their feelings and address any unresolved issues. Resolving separation issues may take several sessions, depending on how long the group has been together. The facilitator may wish to help members plan a closing ceremony and encourage them to express their feelings about the upcoming separation.

Endings also provide an opportunity to ascertain and commemorate what has been learned, by asking questions such as: “What insights have you gained through this group experience? What were the turning points for you, both in your own personal growth and the life of the group? What did you like best and least about being in this group? How would you describe the history of this group? What were the highlights of the group life together?” (p. 111). At this point, the group might also want to consider possibilities for staying connected beyond their closing ceremony.

Transforming a Group

Sometimes groups that form for a specific purpose expand or shift their scope of activities as they grow and deepen. No matter the group’s initial focus, both the group and the facilitator should discern the Spirit’s influence within the group and respond to the call for continued growth and transformation. As the group deepens, we may discover a call for communal conversion that goes beyond individual change. Fleischer writes, “Empowered by the spirit, the concerted efforts of small Christian communities offer a sign of hope for the transformation of society into a world built upon compassion and justice for all” (p. 116).

As I think about comments that our Christophany Group facilitators have made over the past couple of years about members ‘ghosting’ their groups, I cannot help but think that cultivating an ongoing group practice of open communication regarding feelings, issues, and changes, as well as procedures for achieving closure, may result in fewer members leaving and/or members leaving in more intentional and constructive ways.

I hope these ideas have been helpful to you in thinking about changes in your Christophany Groups. Please feel free to respond below.